Clever Little Book Titles

Posted on September 6, 2007. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Clever little book titles

I was asked a question recently by my friend, the good man, Mark Johnson. Now Mark is one of those unassuming types (at least on the phone and online) who now and again says something that will make the milk come flying out of your nose (or bourbon depending on what time of day it is). Anyway, Mark and I were talking one day about Genesis (the book not the band) and he was asking if there were any good books on the subject. Somehow we got around to the Canaanite genocide that occurs in the bible and I recommended a book I had once read entitled Show Them No Mercy: Four Views on the Canaanite Genocide, edited by Stanley Gundry. It’s a book that allows four different views of the Old Testament’s accounts of the military takeover of the Promise Land by the Israelites and its relation to the teachings of the New Testament in light of Jesus’ teachings on peace and love. The individual views are put to the screws by the book’s other contributors (which are C. S. Cowles, Eugene H. Merrill, Daniel L. Gard and Tremper Longman III) as they discuss why they disagree with the previous viewpoint. It’s a great book if you get a chance to pick it up.

Anyway, Mark couldn’t remember the title of the book and he asked me one day via a Personal Message on my friend Maurice Broaddus’ Message Board if I could tell him the title of the book again. After I sent him a link to the book on Amazon, he informed me that he had wracked his brains trying to remember the book’s title. This started a small flurry of Personal Messages between himself and me of alternative titles for the book. They were funny enough that I thought I should share them. Now presenting for some brief entertainment, book titles for a book on Canaanite genocide if Rob and Mark Johnson were to write one:

“Kill Them All”

“Make Sure Nobody Gets Out Alive”

“When God Attacks!”

“Die Hard: The Beginning”

“Crouching YHWH, Hidden Dragon”

“This is the Day the LORD Hath Made, Get Ready to Kiss Your Ass Goodbye”

“If God Be For Us, Then Who’s Going to F**k with Us?”

“Let God Sort ‘em Out”

“They’re just Ay-Rabs”

“Psalm 137”

“The Purpose Driven Death”

“I Guess Payback’s Gonna be a Bi**h!”